Smoking reminded me of him, and when he convinced me to try just one cigarette as we waited in line to see Brand New. But then it reminded me of earlier this year, when he gave up on me, and I lost the only person that ever knew a real thing about me. I should listen to Brand New right now. I wonder if he still thinks I’m the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. If he saw me now he would probably say “I told you so”. I gave him the world and all he gave me was a smoking habit. For that reason I don’t think I could give up smoking, it was the only thing I had left of him. I couldn’t blame him. I couldn’t be mad I was too much for him when I was too much for myself even. When he gave up on me I gave up on myself too.
He knew why he wanted to kiss her. Because she was beautiful. And before that, because she was kind. And before that, because she was smart and funny. Because she was exactly the right kind of smart and funny. Because he could imagine taking a long trip with her without ever getting bored. Because whenever he saw something new and interesting, or new and ridiculous, he always wondered what she’d have to say about it–how many stars she’d give it and why.